MENTORING THAT MATTERS
MANY SAY THEY MENTOR BUT DOES THEIR MENTORING REALLY MATTER? Mentoring is only as good as the commitment of both the mentor and the mentee.
This teach-sheet provides the TOP 10 list for mentors and the TOP 10 list for mentees that I have found over time to be the necessary essentials for both parties in the dynamic mentoring relationship.
Before I share the two sets of TOP 10 essentials, here are the key definitions and thoughts:
MENTORING is a relationship that involves a mutual commitment between two people to transfer wisdom and insights from one person to another.
Mentoring is not coaching and is not employment driven or monitored. A person who is less experience than the one seeking mentoring in a specific area is not a good choice for a mentor. True mentorship that matters is a transferring of what one person has learned, experienced, and explored in life and is willing to pour like a river into another. It is not delivered from a platform of theory but rather sweat equity.
Mentoring is literally a re-teaching of oneself (in the role of a mentor) with a willingness to pour into another (mentee) who wants to and is willing to receive. The mentee is the good ground that the mentor sows the seed of experience, expertise, and insights into for future growth. Both mentor and mentee water the ground where the seed has been planted but the pruning and nurturing is the responsibility of the mentee not the mentor. The tree that bears fruit is in the mentees orchard of life.
MENTOR is a steward of life’s experiences and learnings who is shepherded to share and teach their experiences and learnings to a few others along life’s way from a sincere platform of commitment, integrity, and passion..
MENTEE is a steward of the ground of life committed to finding the sower of a few seeds worth planting. The mentee waters and nurtures the priceless seeds until they grow roots and eventually bear fruit benefiting self, others and ultimately the broader society.
RELATIONSHIP is the state of two or more persons being connected by some type of affiliations, kinship, feelings or mutual dealings.
DYNAMIC is the opposite of stagnant, still, or unchanging; and is indicative of change, activity, progress, and forward movement A MENTOR/MENTEE RELATIONSHIP IS A DYNAMIC COMMITMENT MADE BY TWO PARTIES TO EXPRESSLY BENEFIT THE MENTEE BY GLEANING SHEAVES FROM THE MENTOR TO IMPROVE THE LIFE OF THE MENTEE. BECAUSE THE RELATIONSHIP IS DYNAMIC, THE MENTOR IS ALSO INDIRECTLY IF NOT DIRECTLY BENEFITTED FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.
*Mentoring is not synonymous to coaching: A mentor has many questions for a mentee’s answers versus a coach has many answers to the questions of the person being coached. Mentoring is informal, long-term, self-directed, focused on the personal and professional with the agenda being the responsibility of the mentee; versus coaching, which is formal, shorter term, structured, coach driven agenda with a specific behavioral focus and typically required as a term or condition of employment. Both relationships require trust, role definition, open communication, written/signed agreement and clearly defined return on investment outcomes, and mutual management of expectations.